farcebook and another more important fuck up

So last night I went out to St Kilda with a friend and my boyf and we had delicious crispy duck tortellini in walnut sauce with a hint of chili. It's really tasty but never enough (to misquote a line from Hellraiser).
After dinner we went to the Marquis of Lorne in Fitzroy and caught up with a friend who this week was granted a Permanent Residency. Nice one! That's no mean feat here in Australia as the Government doesn't like brown people very much. Or black. White with a tan is pushing it too, so don't get any ideas.
Anyway, we found ourselves in the small basement of this four storey pub and it was dark, dank and stinky with an eightball table (or pool table, depending on where you're from) in the cramped conditions. "Smells damp," I said, this time correctly quoting the aforementioned horror movie masterpiece.
But apart from some good conversation, everyone was interrupted for a moment by someone shouting that they had one hundred and thirty-seven friends on facebook. For those of you who don't know, all two of you, facebook is a self-proclaimed 'social utility that connects you with the people around you.'
I have a few problems with farcebook and also this claim because I'm a pompous git. And because of my pomposity I'm going to expound those problems right now.
Why do I need to be connected with people around me virtually if they're already around me? That doesn't make sense. I joined up because a friend of mine was returning to her home in New York and I thought it would be a fun, quick and easy way to keep in touch with her. Speaking of which, I should drop her a line right now. brb
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Where was I?
Why is it that people convert what should be a networking thing into a popularity contest? My boyfriend went through my list of friends and requested to be friends with friends of mine he's only met once. Farce! At the latest count he has over eighty 'friends'. Well done.
Hang on, just thought of another friend I haven't poked (not like that) recently. brb
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Long overdue, that was.
I just sent a couple of friends a drink on a new application that you can add to your page that lets you shout your friends virtual drinks. Long island ice tea. Of course. So fun. I was given a milk.
But seriously, why would you want to have over a hundred friends? Anyone who has over a hundred friends can't be a very good or attentive friend, surely. How could you fit in the time to be a friend to that many people? Virtually or otherwise? Group emails? Group farcebook vampire and ninja bites? How friendly is that?
Someone I know boasted to have over two hundred farcebook friends. I challenged her and said, "But how many of them are real friends IRL?"
"IRL?" She queried.
"In real life."
"Oh. All of them."
I'm dubious.
Next, a friend of mine has set up a fakebook: he's set up a facebook profile et al for a friend of his and is sending out messages, writing on walls and generally participating in the online 'community' that is farcebook as her proxy, unbeknownst to her. Identity fraud! Of the friendliest sort. How real is that?
Now I have to go and update my cat's farcebook (called catbook) profile.
Slave to the system! brb
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Finally, the paranoid in me is a little bit suss about who's getting this information and how and why. Is it possible for boneheads or the state to be able to find out who knows who? Of course. I suppose a more pertinent question is, what can they do with this information? Well in these days of the Anti-Terrorism Act, when a man with a Middle Eastern name can be arrested for simply knowing his terrorist cousin, anything is possible.
Goodbye civil liberties... brb?
now playing: the clash - i fought the law