Thursday, November 24, 2005

Bird Brain Job Snob

Ripping off someone else I know's blog entry (hi umpa!) but with my own special interest is this:
Brandon Bird dot com.
And here's just one of the many reasons why you should click on the above:

New Bat Order

Of course, there's lots better stuff on his site, like the pretend christmas letters to Christopher Walken done by arts cool students.
Quite funny, yes, yes?
In the meantime, less funny is my sudden casual employment as a waiter at a shitty little ristorante in Melbourne's CBD.
What happens is, my Job Network Provider knows I'm employable and gets me interviews for any old shit job that floats through her door. If I say I don't want the job then I can be breached. Which is double speak for being fucked over by the state and having my
Government benefits suspended. No money, not mo' money.
However, I said I didn't want to work in a call centre where I would be required to try and sell poor people loans and credit cards that they can't afford.
How unethical!
I mean, banks actually trade in debt! They sell debt to each other! Somehow they make money off of it. I'm not sure of the precise details but the bottom line as far as I'm concerned is that the little people get screwed over and left in debt by greedy financial insitutions? So apart from doing the West's 20th Century equivalent of sweatshop work (as if that isn't bad enough) I get to royally screw poor(ish) people over as well.
How about, "Fuck off, you can stick your pseudo fucking job up your arse!"
And this new job I have, I suspect, is a case of conflict of interest. I think my caseworker got her restaurant owner friend some cheap labour and the restaurant owner got her friend the caseworker's job seeker employment quota on track.
So, I'm working as a waiter in a ristorante italiano with a boss who is rather vague.
I have two degrees... One of them honours... Doesn't this count for something?!
When will I find the kind of work that was worth spending $40,000 in qualifications on (I stupidly got four supplement loans whilst I was at Uni [don't get me started on the ethics of the supplement loan!]) ?
Whinge, whinge, whinge...

Leisure Time with Mr Rollins

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

gay gayness

Well, finally!
Got the photos of the Bite party that I helped throw - both with the set up and with the operations on the night.
Bite is a kinda queer publication that me and some friends here in Melbourne have made.
We fund it through these wild, debauched and fun parties that we hold.
I did a rather raunchy cage dance number with
my flatmate and a friend of ours. Seriously, it was hot. I think we surprised some of the audience with our audacious routine, which, for me, culminated in kissing my flatmate's bare arse. I also got to see footage of the performance and I am somewhat embarrassed. I don't move in the ways I think I do. Anyway, it was funny, fun and oddly liberating... Weird. Unfortunately, I drank too much after taking a cold and flu tablet and the whole night turned out to be a blur. But the party was a smashing success and no mistake!
Above is my boyfriend with his arm around me at my recent birthday dinner.

Below are Bite party photos. Massive cheers to Bec for them.

the Shocker

already scorchin' before the action
really got going

Some random cool guy

Killa on the prowl and lookin' damn fine!

In the cage

Monday, November 07, 2005


Ever wanted to see George Bush in pain?
Well here's your chance! Click for Joy.
Just click yr mouse to refresh and watch him go down hard.
The physical mechanics are excellent!
Reminds me of this Scandinavian game I used to play on the computer called Porrasturvat (stair dismount [pictured above]). It's available for free download, as is its sequel Rekkaturvat (truck dismount) from the same site. Lots of sadistic fun for the whole family.
If I don't describe these games, it's because I don't want to spoil the surprise!
Ok, ok! The first link up the top about George is a little random animation that shows George falling on to spheres. As I said, the physical mechanics are quite realistic. A body would mostly fall and bounce the way you see him do.
Thanks for the link, Dave!
Porrasturvat is a little game that involves pushing a human body down from the top of a flight of stairs, replete with screams and crunching noises as the little fella falls. You get to control what part of its body, the force and the direction of your push. You also get points for inflicting max damage (aim for extreme head trauma!).
Rekkaturvat is more of the same but with a truck, a wall and more variables to play with.
And both games come with great music too!
And it's free!
Here are another two sites/clips that I think are funny and got from
Paris Hilton facial (not as it sounds and much funnier).
Hysterical Interviewing Techniques 101 (don't laugh when your guests are talking about something serious and emotional!).